Is your smartphone making you stupid?

November 23th 2011, 18:41 by Christian
Posted in: Funny Stuff

A few years ago, I landed a job as a writer for a few websites that dealt with anything related to smartphones, tablets, devices, you name it. As a consequence, I became more aware of the so called technological improvements that are going on in front of us.


A few days ago I was reading an article from a fellow co-worker in which he explained how cell phones are currently being considered obsolete and that smartphones represent the new hip. If you don’t have a smartphone, you don’t exist! Say what?! It appears so, since more and more people are purchasing smartphones, thanks to all the capabilities it brings to the table: it allows you to surf the web, read/send emails, watch television and video highlights, and many other functions which a few years ago were unimaginable.

I wrapped my brain around the fact that these devices are called ”smartphones” and it got me wondering. Why smartphones? Does it make me look smart when I buy them? Does it make look smart after I buy them? Are these handsets helping my IQ in any way, at any given time? I seriously doubt it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some sort of conservative freak, I applaud all the latest technology marvels, and I definitely think we should all have one in the future. But not until we understand how to properly use them, and don’t allow them to control our lives, turning us into what I like to call ”iTards”.

Too many people are obsessed with their smartones, and I’m seeing evidence on a daily basis. Yesterday I went to the supermarket, and I saw not one but a bunch of different people walking the aisles while constantly checking their emails and Facebook/Twitter accounts. They grabbed an item, read an email, put the item in the basket, shared with their friends on Facebook that certain item and continued to another aisle. It was crazy to watch. Pretty much the same thing happens in bars. Have you ever noticed how many people just sit there on their phone, always texting someone who’s not there? What happened to all the good old days, when people went to bars in order to get drunk and talk to the ladies? An ”iTard” would say that that’s the previous version of how things happened. Definitely the worst case of them all takes place on dates. When you’re constantly sending you BFF the “play-by-play” of how the date is going, then you’re in serious trouble. When you’re date tells you “Put your iPhone down, I’m talking to you!”, then you’re in serious trouble. If your partner gets up and leaves, and you don’t even notice because you were too busy reading an email, then it’s all over for you.

I think it was Robin Williams who said that giving his kids a smartphone was like giving them the ultimate cocaine. And the man knows what he’s saying, since he was addicted to coke all those years. The art of conversation is dead and buried. All the good places where you could meet someone new are gone. Nowadays we constantly need to be stimulated by our device which isn’t cool at all, it’s ridiculous. My personal theory is that in about twenty years, social interaction between actual physical people will have the faith of today’s cellphones.

As a conclusion, what can be done? Well, we should baby-step the whole process. Start off with the basics. You need to go to the supermarket? It will only take a few minutes; no one important will want to add you as a friend, so leave your smartphone at home. You excited about tonight’s night out with your mates? Leave your smartphone at home, and avoid all the long pathetic drunken calls to your ex. Out on a date? Here’s a tip: try talking to her/him, paying attention to what they’re saying and simply enjoying their company. A few symptoms might emerge as consequence. You could experience a panic attack if you realize that the rectangular shape of your handset is missing from your pocket. Also, you might suddenly start drooling when you hear your ringtone on another smartphone. But as a plus, your new friends won’t be called Galaxy S II or iPhone 4 anymore, and you’ll start hanging out with actual people. I still have lots of things that I would like to tell you, but I just received an email and I’m dying to see who it’s from. TTYL!


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